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4/1/08 11:09 pm - Watch out world

I'm pwning my I.S. right now
3 out of 20 to 25 pages
in the bag

fuck I'm out of underwear and used my last quarters on chex mix. Not so much ftw.

3/30/08 11:49 am - Hollaaaa tax returns

I've got money in the bank, thnx US government.

I'm going to make like that postsecret and spend it on shit I don't need.

3/27/08 05:33 pm - wasting some more time

I need to be doing something with my free time besides gorging myself with Easter chocolate.
But DAMN, every time I eat chocolate it feels like the first time, feels like the very first time. What an amazing amazing food. It works better than Prozac.

And coffee. Well, I think we all know how I feel about that (see chocolate).

I wish my I.S. would write itself, but I think I would probably do a better job, so maybe I should lay off the chocolate and work on it...

3/18/08 03:56 pm - ow still ow

I actually meant to accomplish some stuff this week, like job applications, some I.S. work.

All I've actually accomplished is nothing. Except watching a ton of old movies
Have you ever seen All About Eve? Well, now I have.

And I've watched my face mutate in various ways day by day. I'm like roadkill.

3/14/08 11:57 pm - "It was red"

Well, my four wisdom teeth are in the tooth afterlife. Or maybe in tooth limbo, because the toothfairy didn't get her hands on them. That's better anyway, because at this point in my life, a bottle of vicodin is much more valuable to me than a fucking quarter, which is all that the stingy little skank ever left me. I don't think I've ever been as scared as I was going into that room. The most terrifying part was, they didn't walk me through the process at all, and just strapped me onto an iv immediately. The next thing I remember, I was staring up at the circular white light above me, crying "is it over is it over is it over?" Apparently, I cried for the majority of the operation. Whooooops, sorry doctor.

Then i bled for a while, ate some chocolate ice cream, etc. Not bad at all.

Also, I finally saw David Lynch's Inland Empire a few nights ago. It's like, the scariest film I've seen in a very long time. I don't think I've ever literally cried out in fear when watching a movie alone. It's also completely brilliant, although mostly unintelligible, to me, at least. But I really loved it. The camera work and mis-en-scene and Laura Dern were all so so cool. Just don't assume that watching it alone in the dark will turn out okay, unless you're much braver than me.

3/6/08 10:38 am - some shit

My room is a disaster, more so than usual. It's like New Orleans up in here. Is it too soon for that joke?

My mom still hangs out with her best friend from college, she's going to be there when I get home for break. It gives me hope for the future.

Also, my dog will be there with tail a'wag. She's a sexy girl.

A week later, my head will be minus four teeth, and swimming with drugz.

See ya,

3/4/08 07:37 pm

So I saw Arcade Fire for free last night. Yes, it was boss.

And you can totally see Andrew, Emily, Max and Julia in this Pitchfork picture. Over on the left-backish. Famous!

The rest of the article is here, so I don't have to tell you how it went.

2/23/08 03:26 pm

I've really not liked myself recently. My thoughts should stay thoughts more often and leave my mouth less. That doesn't change what's going on my head, but I've given up believing that I'm such a nice person. Nicer than some, but not very nice.

By Monday I have to write a personal narrative for class and I don't have any good stories that don't involve drugs and alcohol. I can't even think of a sentence to write after this one, much less write 6 pages. Where has my mind gone?

2/20/08 01:32 am - ah, sweet relief

I just found about four of the albums I was most distraught about losing on megaupload. The empty place in my soul is slowly being refilled.

You can still expect me to come knocking on y'all's doors for cd burnage, though.

This week is so chillllleeddd out compared to last week. I hope there's not something looming that I'm not aware of.

2/16/08 08:50 pm - I want to have a funeral for my music, or maybe an Irish wake.

My music was like a part of me. It was less a possession than a friend, a friend I stole off of the internet from struggling artists who are actually deserving of my money. Regardless, learning that it was gone forever was like being kicked in the gut with one of those really insensible pointy toed shoes.

So basically, if anyone wants to send me a CD, it won't be the same as the music I pirated myself, but it would be appreciated.

1/25/08 01:19 pm - At least they know when to say when, even if Juno didn't.

Oh God no my life is OVER!!!!

This is way worse than the whole Heath Ledger thing, by which I mean, it personally affects me much more.

1/22/08 10:34 am - Don't Stop thinkin' about tomorrow, plz

Today, I woke up feeling refreshed after a lovely dream that involved an intimate Of Montreal show and the circulation of free drugs. I was sharing a joint with Dottie and she told me I was her favorite fan ever. And I was all like, "you remember me?" and she was all like, "of course, we all remember you!" Mmmm Blissfully blissful bliss.

Looking back on it, I'm surprised I wasn't actually very bitter after waking up to real life.

The realization that I barely have any work for tomorrow might have been part of it. So I spent the morning mending buttons and listening to Fleetwood Mac instead of reading. I'll probably find out later that I read the wrong pages of my syllabus, and start crying.

I'll get back to you on that.

Also, I don't know how long the Oscar Nominations have been out, but I just noticed them. As usual, I have a few problems with them, and I know the wrong people are going to win everything and basically fuck the Oscars, but it's still cool that 3 out of the 5 nominees for original screenplay are women this year. Maybe I haven't been paying attention, but that seems pretty unprecedented.

Also, "Roderick Jaynes" was nominated for best editing for No Country For Old Men, which is just the pseudonym the Coens go by when editing their own films. So if Roderick wins, will they send up a fake person to accept for them? It probably won't actually matter, because the strike will still be striking, and the Academy Awards won't be aired.

1/4/08 07:26 pm - Fuck you, reslife

Apparently, me and my friends have displeased the Wooster housing Gods. Perhaps we had too many parties and smoked too many drugs while living in Corner house, and this is our punishment. I don't want to have to live with someone I don't know at this point in my college career. I am not happy.

Also, two of the best people in my acapella group are gone, along with all the amazing seniors who left last year.

Someone upstairs doesn't want me to be happy back at school.

It could still be okay?

12/27/07 11:49 am

America is kind of lame. I feel like a fat slob already, sitting around eating and never walking anywhere. I miss not having to worry about my weight, having the lifestyle take care of that for me. I fucking hate going to the gym, it's such a painful, ugly experience.

But I do like it here, anyway. Mostly because there are so many awesome movies playing. I saw Sweeney Todd, and I was really impressed. It might disappoint ardent fans of the musical because it cuts the chorus numbers (I was initially disappointed by that), but it was necessary. I think the play was edited almost perfectly to the screen, the choices of what was kept and what wasn't were all well made. Tim Burton does a really great job with it. It's about 10,000 times better than the Rent movie fiasco. And Johnny Depp... well, he's fucking amazing, obviously.

Now I just have to see every other movie that's playing, and I'll be complete. Next up: Juno and No Country for Old Men?

12/22/07 11:51 pm

I underestimated what a relief it would be to finally be home in Rochester. Especially after the travel fiasco that delayed me for more than 24 hours leaving Amsterdam, the snowy suburbs of Brighton looked incredibly welcoming as I was flying down. Also, I managed to get most of my leftover Christmas shopping done in one day. I don't know how I did that either. Yes, I am superhuman.

There are things I already miss about the 'Dam (friends, bicycle, cheese, drugs)

But then there are also things here at home that I had forgotten I missed so much (dog, bagels, reasonably priced coffee, um...English)

Anyway, if you're around, you're welcome to come over and help us eat the mountains of food we have. Please, save us from ourselves. I love you.


12/17/07 02:02 pm - Thought montage

I feel completely incapacitated by this transient feeling of hovering on the edge, like part of me is here and part of me is home. I don't fucking care about school work any more, I just don't, yet I've got these term papers hovering overhead. Ever since last week, I've been on the verge of tears at all times, and when the feeling takes over I have to pretend it's the wind in my eyes from riding my bike. Life is torture. Leaving this place will feel like having something physically torn from me, and I feel terrible. I feel guilty for how little I'm looking forward to going home. But at the same time, I want to be home immediately so I can just sleep forever. I need to be home and I need to not be home at the same time. I've never felt like this before. I just want to feel normal again. No more papers, no more forcing my mind into certain directions, I can't do it right now. Let me go back to bed, let me go to sleep and wake up a month ago.

12/8/07 12:10 pm - living the Amsterdam experience

There's an American Apparel here in Amsterdam, and I just found out today? Woe!

I'm ashamed of myself. And now I'm too poor to take advantage. Unless I buy myself leggings instead of Christmas presents for my family...

Luckily, even without shopping, I've been managing to keep things interesting 'round here in between hammering out essays. Last night, for instance, I did drunk biking for the first time, and I have to say, it rivals stoned biking. I felt invincible, I felt like a superhero. I also witnessed three of my other bike-owning friends drunkenly attempting (and eventually succeeding!) in carrying our three other friends on the back of their bikes, all the way home.

It will be hard to leave here, but harder to stay. I'm pathetically looking forward to the night when we all get drunk, say our goodbyes and cry all night. I love having a reason to cry, love makes me cry. I'm so cheesy when I get emotional, but you gotta embrace it.

11/28/07 10:59 am - so sick of this room

How am I supposed to keep myself alive with the money I have left and use it to buy Christmas presents for my family? Budgeting is so stressful, and I'm so bad at it.

I wish I'd kept a proper blog of this semester, actually I really am regretting that I didn't. I'm starting to worry that without a record, the whole thing is just going to slowly slip away from me. God I wish I had a camera. Who exists in the digital age without a digital camera?

Sometimes I wish I was really mean, and I could just be an outright bitch to everyone. I sort of love the idea of people hating me, and I really have no clue why. Probably because I'd sort of love it if everyone feared me (but not really).

There was no point to this entry.

....still no point.

11/14/07 06:13 pm - this is a country of madness

Amsterdam is starting to unnerve me, because I don't think the sun is ever directly overhead, so it feels like I'm on a different planet. These days it seems like the sun sets as soon as it rises. Rainbows are an almost daily occurance because it is always raining even while there's bright sunshine. And no matter which way you're walking, the wind is always blowing directly in your face. Of course, this is nothing to the Dutch, who continue to juggle their babies while biking blindfolded in the beating rain.

Also, the Dutch news keeps getting stranger and stranger. (This was the top news story on the news website I have to read for class)

10/17/07 07:42 pm - het funen life

I have to read the Dutch news for one of my classes, and I came up with an interesting tidbit amongst all the ho hum political stuff I'm probably supposed to be concentrating on.

This here article

I find some of those statistics kind of unbelievable. Is this one of the reasons the Dutch are a supposedly more laid-back people than Americans? Or is this just an extension of that laid-back culture? (Not like I've really seen any evidence to support the claim that they are laid-back, anyway. But that's what they say. Although, I'm not sure who "they" is.)

In other Dutch news, the government is soon banning the sale of mushrooms here, if you happen to be someone who cares.

....And I'm going to Paris this weekend! The Louvre! The Eiffel Tower! The tourism!

10/13/07 12:27 pm - lolsecretz is good for hangovers too

I've never been this hungover in my life. But I had a pretty awesome night. Why am I updating now? I guess that's what a combination of marijuana, nausea and confusion will do to you this early in the morning which is actually early afternoon. And I think there's a possibility I might still be drunk, too. Can you be drunk and hungover at the same time?

I'm going back to bed.

p.s. Amsterdam is actually a cool city, believe it or not.

10/1/07 12:20 pm - Good news for all

Go to Radiohead's website and pre-order the new album.
You can choose how much you want to pay for it.


Also, Amsterdam updates on the way. Maybe.

8/9/07 09:45 pm

I leave for Amsterdam very soon. I have in depth fantasies about it all the time, usually while I'm listening to my ipod at work and scanning gooey colonoscopy photographs. Everything here drives me crazy, and I can't wait to get away from it. Well, that's a little bit of an overstatement. My dog is still my bffae, and Beth is okay, I guess. My life in Rochester changed so drastically this summer and that's weird, because I'm planning on making it my last summer here.

"returning to Wooster soons" are all over my newsfeed and that makes me sad. Part of me wishes I was doing that too, or at least bringing Wooster with me to Amsterdam. Yeah, I think I'd like to do that.

Blah blah blah.


7/30/07 04:59 pm - Rip things in Halffff

Beth and I have recently rediscovered the computer game, Myst III Exile. It's a wild, wild ride. If you haven't heard of the Myst computer games, I pity you very much. I'm anticipating spending most of my free hours on that game until I figure it out.

Our family went to Toronto last weekend, and Canada is officially much cooler than the US of A, if that wasn't official already. I visited so so many vintage shops, and saw so so many hot Asians. It was great. There was also an amazing vegan restaurant involved, and it was delicious. The only downsides were that my dad adopted his bitchy vacation persona, and even worse, we didn't make it to Urban Outfitters.

Oh, but you can drink at 19 there, which rox, obvi.

7/22/07 01:04 pm

I was slightly disappointed in Harry Potter, but pleased overall, I guess. I won't go into details on here. So the saga's over, and J.K. Rowling can be fat and happy in one of her three mansions over in Britain. She's the richest lady over there, you know. She probably won't be fat though, because she can afford not to be. Bitch.

I'm getting used to my monotonous life around here, and I don't care anymore. People around me have changed, and I'm okay with that. I've just started to worry about how different I am, or not, and whether that's for the better or for the worse. Sometimes I think I've changed a lot in my time at college, sometimes it frightens me how immature I still am.

Oh yeah, Interpol put on a decent show too. But if I'm lucky, I'll get to see Arcade Fire, Joanna Newsom and Menomena when I'm in Amsterdam.
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